Pony Boi

Who Woulda Thought

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"Man, pimpin' ain't easy, but it made me rich" brags Pony Boi on his debut album, Who Woulda Thought. Depends on the definition of "pimpin'," it seems. Playing on a hardscrabble South Carolina childhood that sounds like a rural southern version of Eminem's 8 mile, Pony Boi carefully builds that kind of gangsta persona on his debut album through the judicious use of such cred-enhancing lines, but in reality, it's all shuck and jive. Back in the real world, Pony Boi is a Hollywood dude named Sergio Myers who made enough cash as the creator and executive producer of low-rent basic cable TV shows like Spike's 10 Things Every Guy Should Experience and MTV's Sorority Life to bankroll this lame attempt at rap stardom. Second attempt, that is: Pony Boi's official bio neglects to mention his 2000 flop The Servant of None, a misbegotten marriage of nu metal, goth rock and rap released under the name Infamous Houdene. How D-list is Who Woulda Thought? The big names are Da Brat -- whose artistic heyday, such as it was, is over a decade in the past -- and Shar Jackson, known to tabloid readers as the woman Kevin Federline dumped when he hooked up with Britney Spears. That pretty much sums up Who Woulda Thought in a nutshell: when an album's big guest star is someone who isn't good enough for Fed-Ex, it's officially mind-bogglingly lame. This could well be the second-most pathetic excuse for a rap album (barring Federline's own horror show) of 2006.

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