Terror 2000

Terror for Sale

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At first glance, Terror 2000's third album, 2005's Terror for Sale, appears filled with promise, thanks to clever song titles like "Wrath of the Cookie Monster," "Satan's Barbecue" and "Liquor Saved me from Sports," which at least suggest a more memorable and entertaining quality of lyrics than your average metal album. Unfortunately, the Swedish quintet's indistinctive neo-thrash songwriting doesn't hold up its end of the bargain, and, in the process, winds up dragging down the lyrics with it; transforming their potentially unique amusement value into mostly forced distraction tactics meant to mask the music's deficiencies. Oh well. Except for the odd flash of recognition instigated by the likes of "Five Star Prison" and "King Kong Song" -- with their nifty, At the Gates-type fast-picked licks and preposterously over-the-top wordplay, Terror for Sale is largely an audio blur of blistering, unwavering velocity. That doesn't mean that the sheer intensity and silliness of it all ("Mummy Metal for the Masses," anyone?) won't be enough to seduce young fans with funny bones that rub up against less hardened outer skin (and who don't realize just how many times all this has already been done before?), but in the bigger scheme of things, Terror 2000's tactics sadly embody the title of one of this album's songs: "Cheap Thrills." Surely that's a joke they didn't intend to make.

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