Don Lonie

Talks to Teenagers

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Finally, the pulse-pounding excitement of a high-school assembly captured on vinyl! Don Lonie is a Christian comedian -- a phrase heretofore believed to be an oxymoron -- and he "has a message which appeals to young people and adults alike." At least, that's what the back cover of Talks to Teenagers says -- given that Lonie's message consists of telling kids not to swear, drink, smoke, or screw, it's unlikely anyone wants to hear his sanctimonious crap. If the cover's any indication, Lonie's the squarest guy in the world. Plus, Lonie sounds kinda like Paul Lynde, and you wouldn't let him talk to your kids, would you?