Maurice Woodruff

Know What Will Happen Tomorrow!

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Touted on the front cover as a "world-famous clairvoyant, acclaimed as today's Nostradamus," Maurice Woodruff -- astrological advisor to comedic legend Peter Sellers -- predicts yesterday's future today on Know What Will Happen Tomorrow!, an LP of deliberately vague and broad forecasts spanning the first six months of 1962. Warner Bros. installed so much faith in Woodruff's supernatural prognostic skills that it promised to exchange the album for another release of comparable retail value if 79-percent of its predictions did not come true by June 30, 1962 -- of course, the fine print adds "This recording is not an invitation to speculate, invest, or wager, and Warner Bros. Records, Inc. cannot be held responsible for any results attributed thereto," suggesting the true extent of the label's commitment to Woodruff's vision. As mystical mumbo-jumbo goes, Woodruff is more showman than soothsayer, and he completely fails to anticipate such early 1962 turning points as the U.S. embargo against Cuba, Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point NBA game, or the opening of the first Target retail store -- come on, man! Know What Will Happen Tomorrow! does however anticipate the Warner Bros. of the 21st century -- i.e., a label that spits out worthless crap all the time -- so at least in that respect, it truly was ahead of its time.