Bones Brigade

I Hate Myself When I'm Not Skateboarding

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Musically, there's not too much to say about this crew: they make raw-throated hardcore in the grand straight-edge tradition, in which tempos range from fast to ridiculous and song lengths average about one and a half minutes (but range anywhere from two and a half minutes to, in one impressive case, 14 seconds). Lots of call and response yelling, lots of machine-gun invective, very few guitar solos. What sets Bones Brigade apart from the pack are the band's hilarious lyrics -- though whether they're intended to be so is an open question. For example, here are the words to "Real Ultimate Power," in its entirety: "Ninjas rule/Eat a cat/Totally sweet death by baseball bat." On "All Go No Slow" they brutally dis another band ("Your stage presence sucks and your band is a bore"), then on "See Right Through" they criticize someone else for being too critical of other bands ("You put others down because you've got nothing else to do"). "Thrashin' USA" envisions a future skater's utopia with "no plants, no trees, just hard concrete," and "Each Waking Hour" is probably the fastest, loudest, and most militant song ever written about the joys of sleeping in. Of course, if you want to get the jokes you'll need the lyric sheet in front of you. Assuming they are jokes. Let's just hope they are.

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