Dr. Jack Van Impe

Demons and Exorcism!

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"Let's not quibble," Dr. Jack Van Impe says in a rare moment where his tongue and brain seem to be temporarily linked. "Demons are fallen angels!" Demons are also clever little bastards, using an LP such as this to prove their very existence and then hiding it nonchalantly in the dusty recesses of the used record pile. Demons and Exorcism! will literally leap out of such a pile once sighted, its cover highlighted by two garish shades of red no doubt chosen carefully from the color wheel to denote the presence of Satan somewhere, maybe at a Midwest pressing plant. The Van Impe ministries have a long history of publications in many media. Some might consider the minister's prediction in the '60s of a war with Russia to represent a low point in his insight, but then again perhaps what he actually meant was that the United States would, once again in the distant future, fight a protracted war with Russia as an ally. Van Impe's number one enemy at any rate is not Russia but demons, demons, demons. As he not so casually explains over the course of two album sides, Satan is behind everything that is going wrong, from a businessman's nervous breakdown to a college student's decision to join a fruity new age cult. "I would go further," a paranoid correspondent frantically wrote after experiencing this album. "The devil is behind this album itself." A long list of positive clues denoting the devilish essence of the Van Impe side followed, beginning with the man's surname itself: imp, yes, not a very likely name for a minister. Then there is the fellow who designed the album cover and chose these creepy red highlights, calling himself David Zeese -- note three letters from Beezelbub included in this artist's surname. Then there is the label affixed to the center of the LP, an even more hideous red color and, get this, no exclamation point in the album title on the label! "Sorry, Charlie," this correspondent had to be told. "That shade of red is a standard offer at cheap pressing houses, and the exclamation point denotes sloppy proofreading." Van Impe might insist that sloppy proofreading is the work of demons, a factor typesetters have been insisting on for ages. But Van Impe's theory of most personal importance is that there are really three heavens, arranged in order of atmospheric significance and perhaps relating to some kind of holy flight plan. It is this theory that truly illuminates Van Impe's style of sermonizing, which up until this section seems to be really strange, although indeed reminiscent of a common form of communication. It then becomes clear that what he really sounds like is a flight attendant phonetically reading, in a language other than the one he actually speaks, the usual patter about seat belts, putting seats upright, and turning cell phones off.

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