Darkest Day of Horror

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Fans of Friday the 13th Part VIII will appreciate Mortician's Darkest Day of Horror, which comes off as a sequel to a sequel in which the original premise, which wasn't very inspired in the first place, has been unceremoniously beaten to death with a shovel. This New York crew is like the walking undead adorning the cover of this typically splatter-caked opus: hack off its limbs and the zombie will still lurch forward, never straying from its brain-dead, single-minded purpose -- pure obliteration. Yawn. After six records, the joke has progressed beyond stale to moldy and distasteful, Mortician unleashing another derivative death metal outing packed with ludicrous blast-mash rhythms (fueled by a drum machine), buzzsaw guitars, and indecipherable, mud-clogged vocals gurgling slasher-flick lyrics, the "songs" interspersed with snatches of horror movie dialogue. Again. While most musicians have a desire to progress in their craft, Mortician madmen Will Rahmer and Roger Beaujard are content to keep their poker faces rigid and their boots firmly planted in the soil, stubbornly refusing to stray from long-petrified death metal stereotypes. Sure, the production on Darkest Day is admirable -- the guitar sound is admirably subterranean -- but nothing resembling a memorable riff or decent song peers through the sludge. The point being, if you've heard one Mortician record, you've heard them all, and Darkest Day of Horror serves only to try even the hardcore death metal fan's patience.

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