Christmas in the Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album

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AllMusic Review by Bradley Torreano

Few Christmas albums are as truly terrible as Star Wars: Christmas in the Stars, George Lucas' ill fated cash in on the Christmas season. But between the secret celebrity hiding in the credits to the seven songs sung by "robots," few Christmas albums are as enjoyably terrible as this one. First of all, John Bongiovi, the young singer who performs several of the characters on the album, would go on to become Jon Bon Jovi a few year later. Hearing the king of '80s pop/rock praising R2-D2 is priceless, and his goofy performance is almost unrecognizable if it was not for his New Jersey accent sneaking in at odd times. And with nine songs on a Christmas album, you would not expect seven of them to be sung in a fake robot voice. But sure enough, whether it be Anthony Daniels performing as C3PO or Bongiovi heading up a chorus of droids, there are a lot of robots on this album. What is mostly wrong with this album is that George Lucas does not seem to understand that the Star Wars universe and the birth of Jesus have very little to do with one another. He avoids even talking about the meaning of the holiday until the last song, where Santa Claus' son explains the non-religious version of it to the droids after Daniels recites his own rendition of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas." Instead they just throw around the word Christmas just to have it in a song. For example, "Bells Bells Bells" is pretty much just Daniels saying whatever rhymes over a generic Christmas track. He says nothing of substance, and he just rambles on about where you can hear bells, what size and color bells can be, and somehow he manages to throw in comments about cows and Albert Einstein. And every song is like that, just holiday clich├ęs blended together to music. One of the only exceptions is "R2-D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas," a song that tries to brainwash children into loving the little robot by having a chorus of kids gush over how wonderful R2-D2 is. And Steve Sansweet's liner notes are just as bad, comparing the songwriting on the album to the late, great Spike Jones. Because of its general meaninglessness and obscure commentaries on the holiday, this could be the worst Star Wars related album on the market. To those who enjoy bad music on a camp level, this album is priceless. Fans of the series should give it a listen just to hear how bad it is, but this is really only recommended for those who enjoy terrible music for its comic value.

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