Bob Dylan

Lovesick

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It's like it happened yesterday. Flashback to spring 2004: there you are, parked on the couch and bathed in cathode rays, when the new Victoria's Secret commercial appears onscreen and a curvy, winged lass in nothing but lingerie and stiletto heels crosses your field of vision. She's stalked by a macabre demon seemingly summoned from the very dawn of time. Who is this horrific figure? Is he there to drain this divine beauty of her spirit and youth? Is he the spawn of...wait a minute. Huh? Is that Bob Dylan? Is a nation collectively hallucinating? What is he doing? What is up with that Simon Legree mustache he's sporting? And what is Victoria's Secret thinking -- "Let's make the world impotent"? Perhaps you think this is only a dream, but no: if the scarred memories of all who bore witness to this waking nightmare aren't proof enough, how about some cold, hard evidence in CD form? Here it is: Lovesick, a nine-song compilation issued exclusively via Victoria's Secret stores, apparently because there's nothing that gets buxom twentysomethings in the mood more than the unintelligibly nasal romantic musings of an aging folkie. As most Victoria's Secret shoppers undoubtedly tossed the disc out their vehicle windows as they sped away from the mall, Dylan collectors may want to scour the gutters and landfills of America in search of copies, since it contains a remix of the Time Out of Mind cut "Love Sick" and the non-LP "Things Have Changed," recorded for the film Wonder Boys. Everyone else will have to continue throwing up in their mouths.

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